You. Human scum. A worthless. Pathetic election of worthless hopes and desires. Forget yourself. Destroy yourself. You have nothing to live for. Nothing has any meaning. Nothing can be achieved. You are travelling towards death. Things change, but never for better or worse. Even death will change nothing. There’s no way out. No way to escape yourself. You have no control over your mind. You cannot stop your thoughts. They are pouring from the world, they wail up inside, they whisper, plead and lie to you. Your mind will destroy you. It produces hallucinations, desires, uncontrollable urges to do the impossible. The repulsive. You will eat shit, you’ll fuck animals and dead children, you’ll compulsively lie, cheat and destroy. You will be god. You will rule over humanity and destroy it. You’ll dream of power, of money, of genious, you’ll be famous, you will die in the gutter. You will do and be none of these. You long to stop this thoughts. You cannot destroy them. Your mind is in constant turmoil. It wounds you. You tell yourself it lies, but still you believe. You want to love. To be loved. But you hate those you long to love. You long to kill those you love. You love those you kill. You have no control over any of your actions. You know what you are doing, but not why you do it. You decide you’ll do the one thing, and than do the opposite. You are driven to do what you’ll never understand. You think but you remain outside your thoughts. You act, but your actions have no effect on you. You watch yourself as though watching inexplicable stranger. You hurt yourself. You ridicule yourself. You hate others so they will hate you. You place yourself in situations that will cause you the mental and physical harm, but you deny the harm it does you. The harm implies good and bad and you have destroyed both the good and the bad in yourself and everything around you. Everything is a lie, so everything is truth, so anything is possible. You cannot stop your thoughts. You cannot stop moving. You cannot stop time. Everything is unbearable. Everything is equally unbearable. The empty nothingness of life passess into your mind like a bag of jagged metal. It torments you constantly. It presence remains you constantly of possibility of its absence. Its emptiness reminds you constantly of the possibility of its being filled. Yet if it existed completely than you would no longer exist. You would have no conception of yourself. You would have no self-awareness. You would be nothing but an animal. Empty flesh. You are continued to remind that the degradation of life is painful as if you are continued to be whipped by your master. You are whipped to remind you that you exist. And you are whipped to make you nothing, to end your existence. To release you from all that you wish you are not. It will never end. You will never change. You enjoy it, for you need pain as you need pleasure. They both give you a glimpse of the infinite. They release you from life by intensifying it to such an extreme that it can no longer exist within itself. You scream. You frantically beat your body, you tear your flesh, you piss and shit constantly, you vomit, eat it, vomit again, but still none of these give you a sense of your own reality. Nothing locks you irretrivebly into the presence, into your flesh in this world, which you watch slowly evolve. Unceasing, blemished by humanity which you are the most insignificant part. You are nothing. A fragment of awareness obsessed by its own importance. You exult yourself. You feel pity for yourself as you wallow in self-satisfied self-hatred. You flatter yourself in dreams of becoming or ceasing. You all think you are special, different. You are nothing. You are human, filth, worthless. You will never change. You will never die. You will die continuosly until the world ends. Death will not save you. There is no way out. There is no hope.
