The Blotto Box
by the Jolly Roger
originally invented by King Blotto
edited by Invisible Avenger
Finally, it is here! What was first conceived as a joke
to fool the innocent phreakers around America has finally been conceived!
Well, for you people who are unenlightened about the Blotto Box,
here is a brief summary of a legend…
It was at first made as a joke to mock more ignorant people into thinking that its function
and creation was actually possible, much like cold fusion or kind-hearted Jews.
Well, if you are The Voltage Master, it is possible.
Originally conceived by King Blotto of much fame, the Blotto Box is finally available to the public.
This file is strictly for informational purposes and should not be actually built and used!
Usage of this electronical impulse machine could have the severe results listed below and
could result in high federal prosecution! I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY.
That said, here is the hypothetical construction of the box and its function.
The Blotto Box is every phreaks dream… you could hold AT&T down on its knees with this device.
Because, quite simply, it can turn off the phone lines everywhere. Nothing. Blotto.
No calls will be allowed out of an area code, and no calls will be allowed in.
No calls can be made inside it for that matter. As long as the switching system stays the same,
this box will not stop at a mere area code. It will stop at nothing.
The electrical impulses that emit from this box will open every line.
Every line will ring and ring and ring…the voltage can never be cut off
unless the Blotto Box is shut down. This is no 200 volt job here. We are talking GENERATOR.
Every phone line will continue to ring, and people close to the box may be electrocuted if they pick up the phone.
If shut down, it will take a while for the lines to calm back down again.
Once again: Construction and use of this box is not advised!
The Blotto Box will continue as long as there is electricity to draw from.
Once you have installed your Blotto, there is no turning back.
The following are the instructions for construction and use of this box.
Please read and heed all warnings in the above section before you attempt to construct this box.
ï A Honda portable generator or a main power outlet like in a stadium or some such place.
ï 400 volt rated coupler that splices a female plug into a phone line jack.
ï A meter of voltage to attach to the box itself.
ï A green base (i.e., one of the nice boxes about 3′ by 4′ that you see around in your neighborhood.)
They are the main switch boards and would be a more effective line to start with or a regular phone jack
ï A soldering iron and much solder.
ï A remote control or long wooden pole.
Now. You must have guessed the construction from that. If not, here goes, I will explain in detail.
Take the Honda Portable Generator and all of the other listed equipment and go out and hunt for a green base.
Make sure it is one on the ground or hanging at head level from a pole,
not the huge ones at the top of telephone poles. Open it up with anything convenient,
Take a look inside…you are hunting for color-coordinating lines of green and red.
Now, take out your radio shack cord and rip the meter thing off. Replace it with the voltage meter.
A good level to set the voltage to is about 1000 volts.
Now, attach the voltage meter to the cord and set the limit for one thousand.
Plug the other end of the cord into the generator.
Take the phone jack and splice the jack part off.
Open it up and match the red and green wires with the other red and green wires.
NOTE: If you just had the generator on and have done this in the correct order,
you will now be a crispy critter. Keep the generator off until you plan to start it up.
Now, solder those lines together carefully. Wrap duck tape or insulation tape around all of the wires.
Now, place the remote control right on to the startup of the generator.
If you have the long pole, make sure it is very long and stand back as far away as you can get and
tape the pole to the generator switch making sure NOT to trip it ON.
NOTE: If you are going right along with this without reading the file first,
you now realize now that your area code is about to become null!
Then, getting back, twitch the pole/remote control and run for your damn life.
Anywhere, just get away from it. It will be generating so much electricity that if you stand too close
you will kill yourself. The generator will smoke, etc. but will not stop.
You are now killing your area code, because all of that energy
is spreading through all of the phone lines around you in every direction.
Have a nice day!